


On Being Human

by AnnaTheHank



Series: Soft Convin [4]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mostly feel good, Some funny, human bodies are weird, some sad, this time Connor's the disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 04:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17542271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaTheHank/pseuds/AnnaTheHank
Summary: Connor wishes upon a shooting star. Someone should have told him to be careful what he wished for.





	On Being Human

Gavin sat on his couch, absentmindedly running his hand through Connor’s hair as they watched a movie. Connor was laying down, head in Gavin’s lap, eyes half closed, humming softly. Usually, this was the point in the evening when they would abandon the movie and go to bed. But Gavin was perfectly content to just sit there, combing his fingers through Connor’s hair, and not racing off to have sex.

And if he didn’t think about it too much, it wasn’t weird.

Gavin reached over to the bowl of popcorn that Connor was holding on his stomach. He popped a handful in his mouth and wiped the crumbs off on his shirt.

“That’s not very hygienic,” Connor mumbled.

Gavin smirked at him. “Who said I was hygienic?”

“You could at least try.”

“I could.” Gavin leaned down, kissing Connor. “But I won’t.”

Connor sighed and licked his lips. “You’ve put too much butter on it. You should really lower your fat intake.”

Gavin chuckled and sat back up, continuing to brush through Connor’s hair. “Just cause you managed to get Hank to agree to your little hippie, rabbit diet doesn’t mean you’re going to have any chance with me.”

“I just don’t see why you have to smother your popcorn in butter.”

“Cause it tastes good.”

Connor hummed. “Perhaps I would understand more if I could taste.”

Gavin furrowed his eyebrows at him. “You can’t taste?” 

“No.” Connor turned his head, eyes focusing on the television.”

Gavin cleared his throat, feeling a strange twinge of guilt, even though he wasn’t sure why. “Probably for the best,” he said. “Human blood probably doesn’t taste all that good. Nor anything else you have to lick to sample.” He chuckled a bit nervously. Connor had been a bit tense all night, and this only seemed to make it worse. 

Connor was quiet for a moment, then turned his head back, looking up at Gavin, a faint smile on his face. “You’re probably right.”

Gavin smiled back. “I’m always right, remember?”

“Gavin,” Connor said, giving him a face. “You’re almost never right. Outside of the office that is. You are surprisingly accurate at guesswork when it comes to cases.”

“Why surprising?”

“Just based off your free-time deductions.”

“Oh like you’re so much better?” Gavin said, smirking at the android. “Mr. oh-we-broke-up.”

Connor huffed a laugh. “I’m new to emotion,” he said, shifting his body a bit. “I’m allowed to be a bit confused.”

Gavin laughed and leaned down for another kiss. He wasn’t so content with just laying on the couch together anymore.

-

Gavin curled himself around Connor, resting his head on the android’s shoulder, wrapping one leg over him. He shuffled closer, trying to eliminate any space between the two of them. Connor chuckled, wrapping his arms around Gavin, but the tone suggested to Gavin that Connor’s mind was somewhere else.

“You okay?” Gavin asked, fighting the heaviness of his eyes. 

“Yes,” Connor said, a clear lie.

Gavin titled his head, envying when he was younger and could practically run a marathon post-sex. He rested his chin on Connor’s chest, looking up at him. “Liar.”

Connor sighed softly. He looked down at Gavin, his face soft, and placed a hand on his head. “It’s nothing of great importance.” He smiled. “I promise.”

Gavin was pretty sure he was still lying. If it was anyone else he would just roll over and go to sleep. But this was Connor, and he had to try and make an effort. He grunted and pushed himself up a bit, hovering over Connor.

“Tell me,” he whispered. “I know I’m no Hank but I’m not that bad at giving advice.”

Connor’s smile widened a bit and he ran his fingers up and down Gavin’s back, sending shivers up his spine. “I just had a bad day,” he said. “But it’s better now.” He pulled Gavin down into a kiss. 

Gavin leaned into it for a second, but he wasn’t going to let Connor get away with it. “What happened?” he asked, his lips still pressed against Connor’s.

“It’s late,” Connor said. He used his superior strength to hold Gavin to his body. “You need to sleep.”

“I’m fine,” Gavin mumbled, letting his eyes close. “Talk to me.”

“Tomorrow,” Connor whispered, playing with Gavin’s hair as he had his before. 

Gavin accepted that and fell asleep, his soft snores a soothing sound to Connor.

Connor turned his head, staring out the window. The sky was clear, a few stars bravely peeking out between the lights of the city. For a brief second one moved between two buildings, a meteor passing high in the sky. Or, as humans misreferred to it, a shooting star.

It was a silly, human superstition, but Connor closed his eyes all the same, making a wish.

-

Gavin rolled over, slapping the alarm off. He rolled back and smacked into something. This was odd, considering that Connor was usually up after a few hours of stasis. Gavin heard a groan and he cracked his eyes open, spotting the man next to him, burrowed under blankets, a tuft of black hair sticking out.

“Connor?” Gavin asked, raising himself on one elbow and looking down at the lump.

The tuft moved a bit and a hand pulled back the blanket, Connor’s face staring up at him through squinted eyes. 

Only, it didn’t look exactly like Connor. He had a different hue to his skin, more natural, and his face was more relaxed than usual. And the most unsettling thing was the lack of LED on the side of his face.

“Connor?” Gavin asked again, unsure that it really was Connor he was staring at.

“‘M tired,” Connor mumbled, his voice scratchy and gargled. 

“That’s impossible.” Gavin scooted back down, pulling the blanket over so he could investigate. “You don’t get tired.”

Connor grumbled and turned away, his breaths deep and slow. Gavin scrunched his face up. He reached over and pinched Connor’s shoulder.

“Ow,” Connor said, rolling back. “What was that for?”

“Connor,” Gavin said, now concerned with how unconcerned Connor was, “you don’t feel pain.”

Connor looked at him, his eyes slowly coming into focus. Then they widened, his face opening in fear. He looked down, pinched his leg, winced at the pain, looked back up at Gavin.

“I…” he said. “I…” He looked up, like he usually did when he was looking something up or running a scan. “I’m....human?”

“Is that possible?”

Connor sat up, tossing the blanket aside. Gavin joined him, sitting on his knees, studying Connor as he looked down at his hands. He looked out at the window, then back down at his hands. His breathing started to pick up, his body heaving with each effort.

Gavin crawled over, wrapping his arms around Connor’s chest, hugging him close.

“It’s okay,” he said, trying to keep his voice soft, trying to keep his own panic away. “Just calm down, it’s okay.”

Connor placed his hands over Gavin’s, gripping them tight and biting his lip as he tried to calm his breathing. His stomach grumbled and he looked down at it like it had personally offended him.

“Okay,” Gavin said. “How about I make breakfast this time.”

“Gavin,” Connor said. “I-”

“It’s going to be okay,” Gavin interrupted. “We’ll figure this out.”

Connor nodded. 

Gavin crawled off the bed and walked down to the kitchen. Trying to keep the shake of panic out of his hands, he put a pan on the oven and cracked two eggs into it. He heard Connor walk into the kitchen and he put a layer of bacon on a plate, putting it in the microwave.

“Gavin,” Connor said, swaying a bit where he stood. “May I borrow your phone?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Gavin nodded towards the living room. “It should be on the table still.”

Connor nodded, his movements stiff, and he left. Gavin knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help moving closer to the hall, straining to hear the conversation over the noise in the kitchen.

“Hank,” Connor said, “Something’s wrong...no,no, Gavin’s fine. I’m, well, fine...I don’t know, something strange has happened...No. I’m, well, I think I’m human now...yes I’m serious...No...No...I don’t know….I can’t. I don’t want Gavin to worry...I’ll see you at work...yes, I am...Hank, I am perfectly capable of performing my duties...I just wanted you to be aware…” Connor sighed heavily and then walked abruptly into the room.

Gavin jolted back, rushing to the pan, rescuing the burning eggs. 

“Thank you,” Connor said, placing the phone on the counter.

“No problem,” Gavin said. He gestured to the little bistro table stuffed into the corner of the room. “Have a seat.”

Connor sat down, his movements slow and uncertain. Gavin made them up plates and set them down. He watched Connor gingerly pick up a forkful of eggs and eat it, chewing slowly.

“Well?” Gavin asked. “How’s the taste thing going?” He smiled a bit, trying to ease the tension.

Connor shrugged. “It’s...okay.”

“Try the bacon,” Gavin said. He bit into his own. “It’s delicious.”

Connor picked up a piece of bacon, taking a bite. Then he recoiled, his face scrunching up, dropping the rest of the bacon on the plate. He shook his head, swallowing hard. “That was not a pleasant experience.”

“Really?” Gavin grabbed the discarded piece, making sure it wasn’t just a tainted one. But it tasted just fine to him. “Weird. Well here.” He grabbed all of Connor’s bacon and slid his egg onto his plate. 

“You shouldn’t eat so much of that,” Connor said, picking at his eggs. 

“Yeah, and I can’t even use good taste as an excuse apparently,” Gavin said, laughing.

Connor nodded and looked down at the table, chewing a bite in big, slow, chomps. 

Gavin sighed. “Are you...okay? I mean, obviously it’s strange as fuck that you’re suddenly human now but like...what’s on your mind?”

“I have a theory,” Connor said. He stabbed at the eggs on his plate, not picking any of it up. 

“Care to share?” 

Connor shook his head. “I need to investigate more.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence as Gavin ate and Connor pushed the food around. 

“You really need to eat,” Gavin said. “If you don’t like them I can make you something else.”

“No, no, they’re fine.” Connor picked up a third bite. “Thank you for making them.”

Gavin studied Connor’s face. He could guess that if he still had his LED it would be red. He desperately wanted to know what was going on in his mind, to talk him through it. But Connor didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Gavin now knew what it felt like to be around himself when he was in a sour mood. 

He didn’t like it and it was a wonder Connor put up with him for so long.

“If you need anything,” Gavin said, Connor looked up at him, “I’m here you know? For anything.”

Connor nodded and looked back down. 

The silence was insufferable.

-

Work was odd. Connor was silent the whole ride in, and Gavin had been too afraid to turn on the music. As soon as they pulled into the driving lot, Hank was there. He walked Connor inside, barely a hint of a greeting towards Gavin. 

Gavin slumped his way to his desk, where a pile of paperwork waited for him. He groaned at it, deciding to pull out his phone instead.

He felt a little guilty dialing the number, but it was necessary.

“Hey,” Gavin said when the other line picked up. “How’s it going?” He winced at his own awkwardness.

“Let me guess,” Elijah said, and Gavin could practically hear the smirk in his voice, “you need something.”

Gavin sighed and scratched at the back of his head. “Yeah. Sorry.”

Elijah chuckled softly and Gavin wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. “Please tell me you didn’t get Connor hurt again.”

“I didn’t get him hurt the first time,” Gavin informed him. “I just need some information.”

He heard Elijah shifting around, probably getting into a more smug position. “I have plenty to offer.”

“So...well, I remember reading an article somewhere, about like, the possibility of transferring humans into android bodies or whatever.”

Elijah hummed softly. “Well, given the fact that the brain is no more than a series of electrical currents floating in a vat of fat and water, given the right circumstances I suppose it could be possible. Thinking of making a change, Gavin?”

“No.” Gavin scoffed. “I was just wondering if, well, could the same thing happen in reverse?”

“You mean putting an android consciousness into a human body?”

“Yeah.”

There was a pause and Gavin looked over at Connor’s desk. The still despondent man was sitting in his chair, Hank standing over him as they talked.

“No,” Elijah said. “I can’t think of a situation in which that would be possible.”

“Fuck,” Gavin whispered.

“Is everything alright? Are you...writing some sort of novel?”

“Connor woke up this morning as a human,” he explained. “And don’t laugh I’m not lying.”

Elijah hummed again and Gavin rolled his eyes. “Perhaps you should bring him by.”

“If I can get him to agree. He’s not quite himself right now.”

“That’s completely understandable.”

Gavin wrapped up the conversation by agreeing to come to dinner next week with or without Connor. When he looked up, Connor and Hank were gone. He turned his attention to his work, figuring they must have gone out on a case.

They never came back to the precinct. Gavin got out his phone and dialed Connor’s number, only realizing when he got the ‘number disconnected’ message that Connor’s phone used to just be in his head. He called Hank instead.

“Hey, Gavin,” Hank answered, a blare of music behind him.

“Hey,” Gavin said. “Is Connor with you? Is he okay?”

“We’re at Jimmy’s,” Hank told him. 

“Are you getting him drunk?” Gavin asked. “Hank, what the fuck?”

“Relax, idiot,” Hank said, chuckling a bit. “You know Connor, he wouldn’t dream of touching alcohol.”

“Yeah but he’s depressed and with you.”

“Ha ha ha. It was his idea to come here, he’s just eating chips though.” There was a scuffle and Gavin heard Hank talking away from the phone. “It’s Gavin, he’s worried about you.”

“Look, uh,” Gavin said, drawing Hank’s attention back to the phone. “Do you mind, I mean, would it be weird if I came down?”

Hank whispered away from the phone and Gavin held back a groan. “Yeah,” Hank said. “Come on by.”

-

The bar was suspiciously crowded even for a Friday night. Gavin wound his way through the small throng, finding Hank and Connor sitting at the booth in the back corner. 

“Hey,” he said, standing next to Connor, tangling his fingers in his hair.

“Hello, Gavin,” Connor replied. He stared at the table, arm moving mechanically to the bowl of chips, taking one at a time into his mouth.

Gavin looked to Hank, who shook his head and slid out of the booth. They walked to the bar together, Hank ordering two beers.

“Tell me he hasn’t been like that all day,” Gavin said. 

“He seemed to perk up a bit when we went to a crime scene,” Hank said. “But, ah, things happened.”

“He licked something didn’t he?”

Hank nodded. “It all went downhill from there.”

Gavin sighed. “Do you have any idea how this could have happened? I mean, he was him when we went to bed last night and then this morning he’s fucking human!”

Hank shook his head, taking a big swig from his beer. “Not a goddamn clue. It honestly feels like a dream.”

Gavin sipped slowly on his own beer. “I don’t even know how Connor feels about it all. I mean, obviously, he’s upset but like...do you think he likes it?”

Hank shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve barely gotten a word out of him all day.”

Gavin looked back at Connor over his shoulder only his vision was blocked by some woman. She was leaning over the table, talking to Connor, her ass swaying in the air. Gavin shifted to the side. Connor was looking up at the woman, a warm smile on his face.

Something red and hot filled Gavin’s stomach and he stormed over, grabbing the woman’s shoulder, pulling her swinging hips back. 

“He’s taken,” Gavin growled. “So back off, hussie.”

“Excuse me?” the woman asked, looking Gavin up and down.

“You’ll have to excuse him,” Hank said, steering the woman away. He glared at Gavin as they walked away. “He doesn't understand how to interact with people.”

“Gavin, that was completely uncalled for,” Connor said.

Gavin scootched him over and slid into the booth. “She was flirting with my boyfriend,” Gavin said, feeling a little sheepish when he said it out loud. “I think I was within my rights.”

“She wasn’t flirting with me,” Connor said, hand grabbing another chip.

“I know flirting when I see it, Connor. She was all over you.”  
Connor blinked and chewed his chip. “I suppose it’s harder for me to read people now,” he said. Then he said, “no one’s ever flirted with me before,” and looked up a bit, grabbing another chip.

“Hey, I flirt with you,” Gavin said as Hank returned to the booth. 

Connor tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. Gavin smiled, glad to see him emoting again.

“I can’t recall you ever flirting with me, detective,” he said. “Unless we have varying definitions of what flirting is.”

Gavin huffed. “Well, whatever. She was flirting with you.”

They sat in quiet for a few minutes, Hank and Gavin drinking and eyeing Connor, Connor continuing to eat chip after chip as he thought. 

“I’ve come to a decision,” Connor announced, startling Gavin a bit. “I’m sorry to have worried you both. But, I think I’ve decided to make the best out of this situation. We should still, obviously, attempt to figure out what is going on, but until we do, I’m not going to let it bother me.”

Hank smiled at him. “That’s great, Connor. It’s a good state of mind to have.”

“Yeah,” Gavin said, intertwining his fingers with Connor’s. 

“I am sorry for my behavior today. I hope you didn’t worry too much.”

“You really like those chips, huh?” Gavin said, watching as Connor continued to grab for them, the bowl half empty.

“Yes, they are quite agreeable to my tastebuds.”

Gavin reached over and stole one. He popped it in his mouth and shivered, letting it fall back down to the table. “Jesus,” he said. “That is the saltiest chip I’ve ever had in my life.”

Hank grabbed one as well, grimacing as he chewed. “How can you be eating these, Connor?”

Connor studied them as he ate another one, thinking. “I think they’re delicious,” he said. “But it’s not surprising, considering the things you find delicious.”

“He doesn’t like bacon,” Gavin whispered.

Hank squinted at Connor. “Never trust someone who doesn’t like bacon.”

“Honestly,” Connor said, rolling his eyes and eating another chip. 

Gavin chuckled and settled into his seat. For the moment, it seemed like everything would turn out fine.

-

The next day at work, Connor was in a considerably better mood. He was waiting for Gavin at his desk, a cup of coffee from Gavin’s favorite shop in hand. He was smiling softly, a deep set of bags under his eyes. Gavin couldn’t help but notice the slight sign of dark stubble on his face.

“What’s this for?” Gavin asked, setting his bag down and taking the cup. 

“I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I wasn’t very cooperative.”

“Connor, you don’t have to apologize. You’ve undergone...trauma basically. You’re allowed to be a little distant.”

Connor tilted his head. Human or android his mannerisms were still the same, and Gavin smiled at it. “Thank you.” His eyes wrinkled a bit when he smiled, the dark circles crinkling.

“Here,” Gavin handed the coffee back, “looks like you could use this yourself.”

Connor studied the cup, then gingerly took a sip, licking his lips. He hummed. “It’s not bad.” He took another sip.

Gavin chuckled. “Seems like we finally agree on something.” He sat down and Connor sat in the chair next to his desk. 

“I was thinking I might go and see Markus today after work,” Connor said. “I know we usually hang out tonight so I wanted to make sure you were okay with that.”

“Yeah, Connor, of course. Whatever you need to do.”

Connor nodded. He clenched his eyes closed, took another sip of coffee, and slowly opened them.

“Didn’t get much sleep last night, huh?” Gavin asked.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about everything,” Connor said. “It’s very...concerning.”

“Why don’t you take the day off? Go take a nap or something.”

“I can still do my job,” Connor snapped. Gavin leaned back in his chair, not anticipating the sudden rise and sharpness in Connor’s voice. Connor sighed, dropping his head. “Sorry.”

“Sore subject, huh?” 

Connor rubbed at his nose, closing his eyes. “Fowler thinks I should take a leave of absence until I’m...better.”

“Fuck that,” Gavin said. “You’re absolutely right, being human doesn’t make you any worse at your job.”

Connor nodded and drank the coffee. “How long does it usually take for this to work?”

“Couple minutes at least,” Gavin said. “But, uh, don’t drink too much.”

“Says the man who drinks four cups before lunch.”

“Yes, but I have a built up resistance to caffeine. You are liable to get a sugar high.”

Connor hummed and took a gulp of the coffee. “I should get started,” he said, standing up. “Thank you for the coffee.”

“Hey, you paid for it.” Gavin laughed.

Connor chuckled back and it the best sound Gavin’s ever heard. 

-

Connor adjusted his tie, making sure it was straight, before stepping out of the taxi. The apartment complex had certainly been cleaned up in the past few months, sticking out like a sore thumb in the still run-down neighborhood. 

Connor walked up to the WR600 standing at the door with his arms crossed. He gave him a tight smile, but the android didn’t move.

“What’s your business here?” he asked.

Connor tilted his head. “I’m here to see Markus,” he announced. “It’s...Connor?”

“I know who you are,” they said. “Markus is busy.”

“I called earlier,” Connor said, his smile falling. “He said I could drop by.”

“Yeah, well, he’s busy.”

Connor sighed, looked down at the ground. “Look, I know how I was in the past. But I’m no threat to you now.”

The android’s eyes scanned him. He scoffed. “What’s happened to you?”

“That’s what I’m here to hopefully figure out.”

The WR600 rolled his eyes but stepped aside. “Just watch yourself,” he warned as Connor walked past.

Connor stuck his hands in his pockets, starting his climb up the narrow stairs. He was glad to note that they had fixed the light fixtures in the stairs, so he could actually see where he was going now.

He heard some laughter and soft music from a door on the third floor and stopped for a moment, looking at it. Eventually, he shook his head and moved on, climbing the rest of the way to the top floor.

Connor knocked on the door, glancing down the hall as he waited. 

“It’s open,” a voice called back, and Connor stepped in.

Markus had gone for a more artistic look for his apartment, not something that Connor himself would have gone for. Various plants filled every corner of the room and on every inch of the wall was a painting of some sort.

Markus was standing to the side, hand raised to an unfinished canvas. He smiled over at Connor. “Hey.”

“Hello, Markus,” Connor said, standing by the door, hands behind his back.

“Relax,” Markus said, setting his supplies down and removing the splattered smock. “Come on in.”

Markus gestured to the couch on the other side of the room and Connor followed his lead, sitting up straight on the soft cushions. Markus took a more relaxed approach, sitting with one leg under his body, arm resting on the back of the couch. 

“You sounded pretty distressed on the phone,” Markus said. “What’s wrong?”

“I appear to be human now,” Connor said. “Despite all logic.”

Markus was quiet for a second, no doubt scanning him. “That...is odd.”

“Yes, I know. I was wondering if maybe...well if maybe this had happened to someone else?” He looked over at Markus cautiously. 

Markus shook his head. “Not that I have any recollection of.”

Connor nodded. “I figured.”

“What happened leading up to this?”

Connor sighed and allowed himself to lean back into the couch. “It...couldn’t...it doesn’t make any semblance of sense.”

“Tell me.”

“I...well I saw a shooting star,” Connor explained, knowing how stupid it sounded. “And...I just thought, maybe…”

“You wished for this? On a shooting star?”

Connor groaned. “I know it. It sounds ridiculous. But that couldn’t be how it happened, could it?”

“That’s just a superstition,” Markus agreed. “There has to be some other explanation.”

Connor shook his head. “I can’t think of anything. I’m sorry. I knew this was probably useless. I guess I just needed to exhaust all my options. Sorry for bothering you.”

He went to stand up, but Markus grabbed his arm, pulling him back down. “You’re not bothering me. It’s been a while since we’ve talked. No need to rush out.”

“You....you want to talk?”

Markus shrugged. “Why not? That is what friends do on occasion.”

Connor studied Markus with a confused face. “We’re friends?” 

Markus smiled at him. “I thought so.”

Connor smiled back. “Well, then, let’s talk.”

-  
(Attention: this scene contains mild mentions of being sick. if throwing up and stuff makes you queasy, I would suggest skipping/skimming this scene)

Gavin had fallen asleep on the couch. He was startled awake when the lock on his door turned. He rushed up, fists raised to fend off any attacker. Something moved towards him from the hall, body shrouded in the dark apartment. Gavin snapped his fist forward, punching the intruder in the face.

“Ow,” a familiar voice said.

“Oh, shit,” Gavin said. He leaned over and turned the light on, shining a light on Connor, who held his nose in his hand. “Fuck, Connor. I’m so sorry.”

“Why did you punch me?” Connor took his hand away, touching it gently. Luckily it wasn’t bleeding or anything.

“I thought you were breaking in,” Gavin said.

“With a key?”

“I was asleep and delirious. Sorry.”

Gavin stepped forward and cupped Connor’s face in his hands. He placed a soft kiss to his nose, glad to feel the bone still in place. 

“How are you?” he asked, pulling away.

“Not great.” Connor walked around Gavin and sat down, a hand resting on his stomach.

Gavin sat down next to him, smoothing down Connor’s hair. “What’s wrong? Other than the obvious, being a human thing?”

“I feel...weird.” Connor looked down. “On my way here, I felt hungry. So I got something to eat. But now...I’m not sure what I feel. Just...wrong.”

“What did you eat?” Gavin asked, trying to recall if he had any Tums in his medicine cabinet.

“There was this food stall on the walk here. Tacos.”

“Oh no,” Gavin said, realization hitting him. “Not the one down on 23rd?”

“Yes, that one.” Connor risked a glance at him. “Why?”

“Oh boy. Uh, you’re in for a rough night I’m afraid.” 

Connor’s face stiffened, then contorted in a frown. 

“Uh-oh.” 

Gavin looked around for something to use as a trash can, grabbing the half-eaten bowl of chips off the table and holding it under Connor’s chin. On cue, Connor lurched forward and threw up.

Connor groaned, shaking his head. “I did not enjoy that,” he mumbled.

“And you’re not going to enjoy the rest of the night,” Gavin told him, holding the bowl away. Luckily he had been around so many sick children growing up that he’d built up a resistance to quezzeynes.

“I don’t want to,” Connor said. He was frowning and a tear escaped his left eye.

“Hey, hey,” Gavin soothed. “It’s gonna be okay.” He wiped away the tear and set the bowl down. “Let’s get you in settled in bed.”

Gavin grabbed Connor’s hands and pulled him up, supporting his weight as they shuffled down the hall. Connor groaned, then his body hitched, throwing up on Gavin’s shirt a bit.

“I’m sorry,” he whined.

“Don’t worry about it,” Gavin said, trying to ignore the moistness of his shirt.

He dragged Connor to the bed, tossing the blanket back and laying him down. He turned to leave, but Connor’s arm shot out, weakly holding him back.

“Don’t leave,” Connor whispered. “Please.”

Gavin smiled at him and leaned over, kissing his head gently. “I’ll be right back I promise.”

Connor closed his eyes and nodded. Gavin went back to the living room, taking off his shirt and throwing it and the chip bowl in the trash. Then he changed bag out, placing a new one in and carrying it with him to the bedroom. He set it down on the floor near Connor’s head. 

The man was asleep, soft groans escaping with every breath. Gavin changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed next to him, spooning him and holding a hand against his grumbling stomach.

It was a long night. At least once an hour Connor woke up to be sick, and Gavin was always right there with him, rubbing his back, whispering soothing words of encouragement. 

In a strange, twisted way, Gavin enjoyed it. Not because Connor was sick, but because Gavin got to take care of him. Connor was always doing things for him, making food, buying him coffee, helping him with his paperwork. There was virtually nothing Gavin could do for him. If he tried to clean, Connor always ended up having to redo it better. He didn’t even dare think of helping Connor with his work, he was always just too meticulous and perfect, nothing Gavin could do would ever be of actual help to him.

Now, however, Gavin could help him. He felt, for the first time really, that he was actually contributing to the relationship, that there was a real reason Connor would want to be with him.

Eventually, all of the taco poisoning left Connor’s system and they were both able to fall asleep for longer than a few minutes.

-

Gavin woke up, a crink in his back from sleeping on his side like that. He could smell the sick in the air and he groaned, forcing himself to get up and change out the trash bag. He took both trash bags out to the dumpster behind his apartment complex and then walked to the convenience store a block away.

Connor was still sleeping when he returned. He gently brushed the hair out of his face, smoothing down the skin of his forehead. Connor’s eyes opened an inch.

“Morning,” Gavin whispered. He took the bottle of Gatorade from the bedside table and put in a straw, holding it up to Connor’s mouth. “Drink this, you’ll feel better.”

Connor’s mouth opened loosely and he drank as best his could, spilling a few dribbles down his chin.

“Get as much rest as you can,” Gavin said, setting the bottle back down. “And be sure to drink a lot okay?”

Connor nodded. “Stay?” he asked, his voice a strained croak.

“Of course.” Gavin grabbed his tablet and sat on the other side of the bed, settling against the headboard. 

He heard Connor groan and slowly his body turned around, head flopping against Gavin’s side, arm tossed over his lap. Gavin chuckled and helped adjust Connor’s position so he could sleep better, holding his tablet with one hand and petting Connor’s hair with the other.

Connor was back to sleep in an instant. He groaned softly every once in a while, and Gavin kept interrupting him to force him to drink. A few hours of reading and sleeping later and Connor shuffled up, forcing himself to sit against the headboard, leaning his head on Gavin’s shoulder.

“How you feeling?” Gavin asked, leaning his own head against Connor’s.

“Tired,” Connor said, his voice soft. “And everything kind of hurts.”

“Yeah, throwing up will do that to you.”

“I’m sorry.”

Gavin turned his head so he could look at the other man. “For what?”

“Throwing up on you...and your bowl.”

Gavin chuckled, “there’s no need to apologize. You were sick, you couldn’t help it.”

“I make a terrible human,” Connor mumbled.

“Welcome to the club.”

Gavin’s phone buzzed on the nightstand and he reached over for it. 

“Hey, Hank,” he said, answering the phone. Connor’s head lifted a bit. 

“Hey. Just wanted to check in on how Connor’s doing.”

“Well, he made the mistake of eating from a certain taco stand down on 23rd.”

“Oh, Jesus. How is he?”

Gavin looked over at Connor who was sitting up, staring at him intently. “I’ll let him tell you.” He passed the phone over to Connor.

“Hi, Hank,” Connor said, settling back down against Gavin.

“Hey, kid,” Hank said. “How are you?”

“I’m okay. Gavin’s been taking good care of me.”

“Do you want to come home? I could make you soup or something.”

“No, I’m okay here now. Thank you.”

“Alright, just, uh, just know that you can, you know. If you want.”

“Hank? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I hope you feel better. Uh, let me know if I can do anything for ya.”

“Hank-” but Hank hung up before Connor could say anything else.

“Everything alright?” Gavin asked, taking the phone back from Connor.

“Hank seemed...distressed,” Connor said. He groaned and closed his eyes, leaning back against Gavin’s shoulder. 

“Hank’s always distressed,” Gavin said, chuckling. 

“Are you two actually friends?” Connor asked. “You seem to spend a lot of time saying bad things about each other.”

“That’s just our way of friendship.”

Connor’s head shook weakly. “I think I might be hungry? But I don’t want to eat anything ever again.”

Gavin laughed. “That’s normal. I’ll make you something guaranteed to settle well in your stomach, don’t worry.”

Gavin helped walk Connor to the couch, setting him down with another bottle of Gatorade and the television remote. Dinner was a simple plate of rice, which Connor ate in slow, careful bites, taking at least a minute between each one, body tense, as if waiting to throw up again.

“Do you uh, do you want to talk about...things?” Gavin asked as they were picking out a movie. 

“What things?”

“You know. The whole, being a human now things. Other than being sick, I mean. How, uh, how’s it going.”

“It’s proving to be challenging. But, I believe I’m up to the task.”

“You sure? Not that I don’t believe that you’re capable I just, I kind of get the feeling that there’s something going on with you. Something you aren’t telling me. And like, I mean, jeez we don’t have to tell each other everything obviously that would be ridiculous but if it’s something super troubling, well, I just want you to know that you can talk to me. If you need to. About anything.”

Connor tilted his head, a soft smile on his face. It was good to see him with the color back in his cheeks. “I appreciate your concern, Gavin. I promise I’m fine. And if I wasn’t, I would tell you.”

Gavin didn’t entirely believe him. But he didn’t want to push him too hard either. He knew what it was like to have something eating at you. And he knew how difficult it was to tell it to someone else. Sometimes you just had to wait until it was all too much. And as much as he didn’t want Connor to suffer, he knew waiting for him to reach that point was the only option.

-

After fifteen minutes of convincing, Gavin gave in and let Connor go to work with him. 

“I still think you should have taken the day off,” Gavin said as they entered the building. “You look like a fucking raccoon with those circles under your eyes.”

“I assure you, I’m perfectly fine,” Connor said.

“Humans need sleep, Connor.”

Gavin walked Connor over to his desk. Hank smirked up at them, looking at his watch.

“I was beginning to think you’d never show,” he said.

“It was Gavin’s fault,” Connor said, matter-of-factly, sitting down and turning on his computer.

“Wow,” Gavin said. “I’m a terrible influence on you.” Then he walked over to his own desk.

“Feeling better, I see,” Hank said.

Connor sighed gently. “A bit, yes. How are you? Our phone call yesterday left me quite concerned.”

“Ah, I’m fine. Sumo decided to roll around in the mud on our walk, so that was fun.”

Connor chuckled. “He does have an affinity for getting dirty. Not entirely unlike his owner.” He smirked.

“Very funny.”

At that moment Chris walked up to their desks. “Hey, Anderson. Got a call-in tip about your suspect. Spotted down at the market. Guess buying milk is the new thing to do after murdering your neighbor.”

“Thanks, Chris,” Hank said, standing up. “I’ll go check it out.”

“I’m coming with you,” Connor said, standing up as well.

“Like hell you are,” Hank said. “You’re recovering from being sick, it’s too dangerous.”

“I’m fine,” Connor practically growled at him, walking towards the door. 

Gavin watched him with a concerned eye, and Hank just shrugged, following after.

-

“There he is,” Hank said, pulling the car up to the market. Their suspect was at his car, putting bags into the trunk.

Connor shook his head. “He’s acting so normal. Maybe he didn’t do it.”

“Or he’s a psychopath.”

Hank got out of the car and Connor followed suit. They walked up to the man, calm and natural as could be.

“Colby Jackson?” Hank asked.

The man closed his trunk, turning to face them. “Yes?”

“I’m Lieutenant Hank Anderso-”

The man turned and started running across the parking lot.

“Seriously?” Hank huffed and gave chase, Connor right on his heels.

But Connor was human. And tired. And still a little weak from being sick. As Hank closed the gap on the criminal, Connor widened the gap to Hank. Before long he lost them in the crowd, huffing as he tried to force his body to keep up.

But his body wasn’t having any of that. 

Connor continued to slow down, his run turning to a jog, his jog turning to a walk, his walk to a crawl. The people on the streets stared at him as his body forced him to the ground. He sat down, leaning against a building, trying to catch his breath, his eyes heavy.

“Hey, man, you okay?”

Connor forced his eyes open, staring at a man who was leaning over him. He nodded his head. “Yes,” he croaked out. “Just tired.”

“Is there someone I can call for you, man.” The guy crouched down, investigating Connor’s body.

Connor shook his head. “No, I’m fine. I just need a moment.”

“Shit.” The man stood back up, looking up and down the street. “Look, uh, I’m just gonna hang here until you’re good, a’ight?”

Connor nodded, closing his eyes and listening to his heartbeat in his ears. It was an unsettling and uncomfortable sound.

A few minutes of actively trying not to throw up again, and Connor was able to pull himself up to his feet again. The man grabbed his arm, helping him up.

“Thank you,” Connor said. “I appreciate it.”

“Can I walk you somewhere or something?”

“No, thank you. I’ve got to find my partner.”

“Can I help you look or anything?”

Connor shook his head and gave the man a soft smile. “No, thank you.”

The man looked him up and down but eventually nodded and walked on his way. Connor turned around, heading slowly in the direction that Hank and the culprit had run. In the distance he saw them, Hank pulling the handcuffed man through the crowd, heading back to the car.

“Hank,” Connor tried to call out, but his voice refused to cooperate. 

Luckily Hank spotted him and dragged the perp over. “Connor. Thank god. Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m...fine,” Connor said, already tired from walking.

“Let’s get you home,” Hank said. He supported Connor with one arm and dragged the criminal with the other, himself exhausted by the time they reached his car.

“I’m sorry,” Connor said, closing his eyes as soon as he was in the passenger seat. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Hank said. “Just rest now.”

-

Connor hadn’t even realized he fell asleep. When he woke up he was in his bed, and it was dusk outside. Connor sat up, trying to remember what had happened. Had Hank carried him to bed? He didn’t think he was that strong.

Connor got out of bed, wobbling a bit as he stood. He needed food. He shuffled to the kitchen. They didn’t have any Gatorade, so he just got a glass of water and ruffled through the shelves, finding a few bags of instant rice. 

He stared at the microwave as it cooked, vision blurring in the soft light. The microwave dinged and the door opened. 

“Hey,” Hank said, turning the lights on. “How you doing?”

Connor didn’t respond, grabbing the bag of rice. He blinked, his eyes puffy.

“That good, huh?”

Hank walked over and patted his back, taking the rice and pouring it into a bowl for him. They sat together at the table.

“I’m sorry,” Connor whispered. “I jeopardized the mission.”

“We got the guy,” Hank said. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m still sorry. You were right. I should have stayed at the office. I just...I wanted to prove that I could still do my job, even as a human.”

“You can. No one doubts that, Connor. But no one can do their job when they’re sick and tired. Not even you.”

Connor looked up at him. “Can I ask you something, Hank?”

“Anything.”

“Are you...are you sure you’re okay with me dating Gavin?”

Hank sat back in his chair a little bit. “Yeah, Connor. You know I am.”

“You just...seem upset. Whenever I’m with him.”

Hank sighed, sinking into his chair a bit. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m really okay with it.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s nothing to do with him or your relationship.”

“Then what is it about?”

Hank sighed again, long and heavy. “It’s just me being selfish. I like having you around Connor. And you’ve been spending a lot of time at Gavin’s. Which is perfectly fine and normal. I guess I’m just a little…”

“Lonely?” Connor suggested.

“Yeah. Maybe a little.”

“I’m sorry Hank.” Hank shook his head. “I wish Gavin would just move in with us. His apartment is appallingly small.”

Hank chuckled. “In a very perfect and incredibly opposite world, I’m sure he’d agree.”

Connor smiled and finished eating his rice. “I don’t wish to worry you,” he said. “But I think I’d like to go for a walk. To think about things.”

Hank started to say something but thought better of it. “Here.” He slid his phone across the table. “The home number’s in there. Call if anything happens.”

Connor nodded. “Thank you, Hank. I promise I won’t go far.”

-

At least it was a pleasant night, Gavin thought as he drove through the city. Hank’s words were still ringing in his ear. 

‘I think he needs you’

Gavin sighed. Connor had always gone to Hank for help with pretty much anything. Especially when it came to emotions, considering Gavin was just as bad at them as Connor was. But something had shifted in the last few weeks they’ve been together. And now, it seemed, Connor needed Gavin to talk about stuff with.

It was unsettling.

Gavin found Connor down by the river. He was sitting against the railing, legs hanging over the edge, leaning on his crossed arms, watching the water pass below him. Gavin parked and got out, staring at Connor for a moment before waking over.

“Hey,” Gavin said, sitting down next to Connor.

Connor looked at him, slightly startled. He blinked a few times. “Hank sent you?”

Gavin smirked. “He’s worried about you. We both are.”

Connor nodded and looked back down at the river. “I just needed to think.”

The streetlights around them blinked to life. 

“Any development on your theory?” Gavin asked. “Why you’re suddenly human?”

Connor bit his lip. “I know that it’s stupid, and entirely illogical but...well, I sort of wished for it...On a shooting star.” Connor was actually blushing at this point.

“You wished for it?”

Connor nodded. “It’s a terrible explanation, but it’s the only one I have.”

“But why?”

“Well, because there’s no other way to explain how it could have-”

“No, Connor. I mean why did you wish to be human?”

“Oh.” Connor blinked, but a few tears escaped anyway. “I guess I just thought things would be easier.” He sighed, his voice dropping. “But they aren’t.”

Gavin grabbed Connor’s hand, holding it between his own, interlacing their fingers. “I think it’s time you told me what happened the other day.”

Connor’s throat tightened and when he spoke again it was strained. “Someone...someone attacked me,” he said.

Gavin’s body tensed. “What? Who? Where?”

Connor shook his head. “I don’t know. There was a few of them. They jumped me. Some anti-android guys I guess.”

“Did you hurt one of them? Cause if you’re worried about being in trouble it was self-defense and you’ll be safe.”

“I didn’t fight back,” Connor said. “And before you ask I’m not really sure why.”

“Well, fuck. Could you recognize any of them? I mean, Jesus that’s assault. On an officer no less! Those assholes are going to jail.”

Connor shook his head again. “That’s not the worse part.” He took a shivering breath, more tears falling down his face. 

Gavin felt awful. He rubbed a hand up and down Connor’s back, wishing there was something he could do to make Connor feel better. It was all he wanted.

“What’s worse than getting beat up?”

Connor bit his lip, his face turning red. “A...a group of androids saw it. They looked like they were going to do something but...but…” Connor balled his hands into fists, little droplets of blood forming where his nails dug into his skin. Gavin waited, afraid anything he might say would make it worse. “But they saw me. And the just left.”

“Fuck.”

Connor finally looked up at him, his eyes clouded with tears, his face a distressed mess. “Nobody likes me, Gavin,” he sobbed. 

“Hey, hey.” Gavin scooted closer, wrapping his arm around Connor’s shoulders. “I like you.”

“No, I know you do. And Hank and Tina and Chris. Markus apparently. But that’s it.” Connor was talking through shuddering breaths and sobs. “Humans hate me because I’m an android. But the other androids still see me as the deviant hunter so they don’t like me and just nobody likes me!”

Gavin turned his body to the side, pulling Connor into a proper hug, holding his head against his shoulder, smoothing down his hair. He shushed him, holding him tight as he cried. “It’s okay, Connor. It’s okay.”

“And I thought being human would fix everything,” Connor said into Gavin’s shirt. “And it did. People didn’t hate me just by looking at me and the other androids didn’t have to be afraid of me anymore. But it just messed everything else up!”

“It’s okay, Connor,” Gavin whispered. “Just calm down.”

“I can’t do my job, Gavin. It was the one thing that made me special and I can’t do it!”

“Hey, hey that’s not true.” Gavin grabbed Connor’s face in his hands, pulling away and looking into his eyes. “Connor there are so many other things special about you.”

Connor sniffed. “Like what?”

“You are literally the nicest person I’ve ever met. I mean, you help everyone, even people who are mean to you. You’re like, crazy about it. And just because you’re human now doesn’t mean you can’t do your job. You are still ridiculously smart and observant.”

“But-”

“No buts. Look. You showed up to the precinct as an android that could do everything a human detective couldn’t, right?” Connor nodded. “So everything that you’re feeling now, I felt. And I’m still here aren’t I? Being human didn’t make me bad at my job, and it doesn’t make you bad at it. Because all the things that truly matter about being a detective doesn’t come from fancy gadgets. It’s about gut intuition. And you have that. Android or not.”

Connor blinked, reached up to wipe away his tears. “You really think that?”

“I know it, Connor. You just gotta stop caring so much about what other people think. You don’t need everyone to like you Connor. Just a few good people.” He smiled.

“I know.” Connor sniffed, his tears starting to slow down. “I just wish people would take the time to get to know me before forming an opinion.”

Gavin huffed a laugh. “Everyone does. That’s the problem with people, you know? They always just, look and judge. But you’re special in that way too. You like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I mean, you could have just easily been like, oh I hate Gavin, but for some reason, you decided to try and get to know me. You do that Connor. You see the good in people, even when it’s not there, or buried really, really, like super really far down.”

Connor looked down, thinking about it. “I guess...you aren’t totally wrong.”

“I’m always right, remember? We’ve been over this.”

Connor laughed softly. Then he looked back up, his eyes red but dry. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess, Gavin.”

“It’s okay. It happens to the best of us.”

They turned back to the river, Connor resting his head on Gavin’s shoulder. “Do you think there’s a way I could go back?” he asked. “If I decided I wanted to?”

Gavin shrugged. “Maybe you can wish it back? Like before? But only if you want to Connor, you know? You haven’t exactly had the best of human experiences these past few days.”

“Do you have a preference?”

“But it does. Because I love you and your opinion is important to me.”

“Look, Connor. You’re you. And that’s all that’s important. I’ll love you no matter what body you’re in.”

It was quiet for a moment. Slowly, Connor lifted his head, turning it to stare at Gavin. Gavin glanced at him.

“What?”

“You love me?”

“Uh.” Gavin blinked. Had he said that? Had he meant it? He thought about it for a while, staring at Connor stare at him. It was true that something was going on with him. He hated being apart from Connor, loved every moment they spent together even if they were arguing about something. And he was more concerned with Connor’s happiness than he was with his own. He had never been in love before, and had rarely seen it in the real world, but he figured he probably had all the components of it. “Yeah, Connor.” He grinned. “I love you.”

Connor smiled, wide and open, his eyes starting to water again. “I love you too, Gavin.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Connor grabbed Gavin’s face and pulled him forward, kissing him deeply. Gavin smiled into the kiss, grabbing the back of Connor’s neck, holding them together. They parted with panting breaths and Connor’s face full of tears again.

“Sorry,” he said, wiping them away. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“Happy tears,” Gavin told him, leaning his head on Connor’s shoulder. “You get used to them.”

They sat there on the river for a while, watching the water glimmer. It wasn’t as bright where they were, and a few stars dared to shine. 

“Hey look,” Gavin said, nodding up. In the distance, they could see lights streaking across the sky very faintly.

Connor smiled. “Make a wish,” he said. And he did.

-

Gavin had to admit, his weakest of weak spots was Connor’s puppy dog eyes. He grumbled about it as he woke up for the second time in Hank’s house. He reached out across the bed, needing a snuggle from Connor to have made it all worth it. But Connor wasn’t there.

“Connor?” Gavin asked, sitting up. He looked around the room but Connor was not there.

He grumbled and got up, getting dressed before he went to wander around the house for his boyfriend. He didn’t have to go very far.

Connor was standing in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror, touching the blue LED on his face.

“Hey,” Gavin said, stepping up to him. “You’re back. That’s uh, good right?”

Connor looked at him in the mirror. “Yes, I believe it is.”

Gavin placed his hand on Connor’s back. “You okay?”

“I’m...perturbed.” He titled his head, fingers running over his temple. “I think I might…”

“You want to get rid of your LED?”

Connor sighed. “I’m not sure. I think it would help people not immediately hate me, but I don’t want to be ashamed of what I am. You know?”

“Yeah,” Gavin said. “I know. You don’t have to make a decision about it now. And you shouldn’t do anything until you’re certain, yeah?”

Connor nodded. “Yeah. You’re right.”

The door to Hank’s room opened and he stepped into the hall, staring at them, rubbing his eyes. “We having a party in the bathroom?”

“Sorry, Lieutenant,” Connor said, turning to face him. 

“Are you an android again?”

“Yes.”

“That’s great. I mean, if you want it to be that is. Otherwise, it’s terrible.”

Connor smiled softly. “It’s a good thing. It suits me better.”

“Good. Now get out of the bathroom.”

Gavin and Connor stepped out to the living room.

“See?” Connor said. “It’s not so bad staying here. You could do it more often. Maybe,” his voice dropped to a soft mumble, “even move in here.”

“Not a chance,” Gavin said, laughing. 

“It’s not that terrible of an idea,” Connor said, his eyebrows furrowing.

“I’m not gonna move in with Hank,” Gavin said. “Especially not when you and I are, you know.”

“I thought you guys were friends?”

“We are. But it’s still weird.”

Connor closed his eyes, taking a controlled breath. “I will never understand you, Gavin.”

Gavin smirked, grabbing Connor’s waist and leaning up for a kiss. “Probably for the best.”

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING  
> I hope you enjoyed this lil self-indulgent fic.  
> I have at least one more planned for this sereis but I hope to continue it beyond that as well <3


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